Stats:
Type: Hefeweizen
Brewery: Crooked Crab Brewing Co.
Origin: Odenton, MD
ABV: 5.6%
Hops: Huell Melon
Date Sipped: October 9, 2026
Taste:
Banana! vanilla bean, clove, cinnamon
Color:
Murky, golden-brown mustard
Feel:
Acidic bite at the front, wheaty heft middle, flavor lingers nicely
Overall:
“The Bluth frozen banana stand, the Despicable Me minions, Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson, Furious George.”
Gun to my head, that’s my banana Mount Rushmore.
Wait a minute… I spring up from the barber chair and 180° judo-chop my assailant in the side of his neck. His weapon drops to the hair-covered floor with a muffled thud.
I knew it, the masked criminal seizing this all-cash business was wielding not a 9mm but a severely unripe banana. That and an extended back alley sabbatical explains the daytime sports TV-esque and the cracked-out grin as he lay prostrate amongst my hair trimmings. It explains how – legally speaking – unarmed, he fought his way through the two barbers and the other patron.
Why spare me, the only individual in the shop trained in the Austin powers school of judo striking (a safe assumption given unconscious gentlemen strewn across the barber shop)? I looked in the mirror, the sides sport a skin fade, to top untouched in an unflattering broccoli manner.
“I can’t end a man with such a fucked up cut,” the crackhead had said as he held me at banana point and flicked on the clippers. And to think people say courtesy and gallantry are dead…
This is a really good beer. As advertised, the notes of banana come through, tastefully. If you hate banana, this beer is not for you. If you tolerate banana, give it a chance. I never got tired of the flavors, each sip was as salient as the last. Banana flavor is intimidating when its advertised as the main event, but the can art deserved a try. That’s the magic of the pageant.