Liquor Store Beauty Pageant

Liquor Store Beauty Pageant

Category: Hoppy Sips

  • Robot, Don’t Do Magic!

    Stats:

    Type: Hazy IPA

    Brewery: Medusa Brewing Co.

    Origin: Framingham, MA

    ABV: 7.0%

    Hops: Talus, Citra, Rakau

    Date Sipped: August 27, 2026

    Taste:

    Raspberry iced tea, Lemon, Lipton tea

    Color:

    Darkish brown, muddy, Iced tea/Arnold Palmer, Orange tint

    Feel:

    Thin front and back, The flavor remains

    Overall:

    AGI may be nearer than we think. If my calculations are correct, the bots might already be master brewers with this masterpiece. This is one of the most creative tasting beers I’ve had in a while.

    The raspberry flavor almost makes you forget you are drinking a beer, then the hoppy finish keeps you grounded and wanting more. The fruit is inoffensive and well balanced. It sits heavy in the gut, but the taste blinds you to that. (Like when you put on a YouTube soundscape and you know its AI, but hey it lets you and the wife fall asleep, meeting in the middle between TV off and something with plot blaring in the background invading your dreams – this analogy got off the rails quickly).

    Sorry, Medusa, but your robot, or the individual named “Robot,” has indeed done magic: turning iced tea to beer. Just, please, please, please, don’t burn it at the stake for this and let it brew more.

  • The Cat’s Meow

    Stats:

    Type: Hazy IPA

    Brewery: Exhibit A Brewing Co.

    Origin: Williamsburg, MA

    ABV: 6.5%

    Hops: Citra, Mosaic, El Dorado

    Date Sipped: August 27, 2026

    Taste:

    Hint of vanilla, Orange

    Color:

    Very pale with a slight haze

    Feel:

    Wheaty front that quickly dissipates, Texture remains on tongue

    Overall:

    Have you ever picked a classic movie from a greatest of all time list and its actually lived up to the hype? Well, this was nothing like that. This smugly labeled IPA falls flat of its self congratulations.

    There is nothing noteworthy to report about this beer. Flavor was lackluster – think the first hour and 58 minutes of Citizen Kane – and the texture lingered far longer than the taste profile of even the first sip. It’s not a bad beer and maybe drinking this under a gloomy Massachusetts sky is making me a bit harsh, but I won’t be in a rush to try the sequel.

  • Chronic Hopnotic

    Stats:

    Type: West Coast IPA

    Brewery: Black Flag Brewing Co.

    Origin: Columbia, MD

    ABV: 7%

    Hops:Columbus, Simcoe, Amarillo

    Date Sipped: August 21, 2026

    Taste:

    Pleasant hoppiness, Strawberry, Bitters

    Color:

    Pure gold, Very clear, Shiny

    Feel:

    Smooth mouth feel, Lingers on the tongue, Not very bubbly

    Overall:

    Am I back in college? No, I wouldn’t be fiending for this bitter IPA back in my SoCal heyday, but it makes you call out for another hit as soon as the first one hits the dome. This is an easy sipper fit for a cruise down W. 28th St. (passenger seat, of course). Crack the can, kick back, sip, and get shlossed bumping some Dre and Nipsey.

  • Dragonfly

    Stats:

    Type: Hazy Double IPA

    Brewery: New Trail Brewing Co.

    Origin: Williamsport, PA

    ABV: 8.4%

    Hops: Citra, Motueka, Talus

    Date Sipped: August 03, 2026

    Taste:

    Slight citrus start, Heavy citrus finish, White toast

    Color:

    Cloudy beige, Dirty water

    Feel:

    Very thick, But citrus pulls back weight

    Overall:

    For the first time in my five years living in the city, I saw a rat on my back patio today. This was no ordinary critter just trying to find a snack after a hard days work in the concrete jungle, this was a rat king – a veritable bad guy. Yuck.

    Its unfortunate I can’t get my mind clear enough to give this beer the indulgent write-up it deserves. So short and sweet (unlike that beefcake) it is: Dragonfly is a dizzyingly crushable beer for its ABV. New Trail continues to impress with their IPAs and their can art. My crummy phone picture doesn’t do the holographic justice.

  • Troutbitten

    Stats:

    Type: Hazy IPA

    Brewery: New Trail Brewing Co.

    Origin: Williamsport, PA

    ABV: 6%

    Hops: Citra, Mosaic, Talus, Centennial, Simcoe

    Date Sipped: July 31, 2026

    Taste:

    Earthy, bitter, acidic on the palate

    Color:

    Yellow gold, heavy haze

    Feel:

    Thick haze, but a surprisingly easy sipper

    Overall:

    As the label suggests, this hazy would pair wonderfully with a flowing creeek or babbling brook. Close your eyes, take a sip and you can hear the crickets chirp in tall grass, sparrows gliding in convulsive packs, and water rushing over protruding stones. Open your lawn chair or pull on your waiters and take a breath of this forest air in a can.